Connections come in all sizes
This week I’m working on making better connections. Since my divorce, at times I feel like I’m finally reading the manual I was supposed to have studied as a kid. Shouldn’t I already know this stuff? If I did I wouldn’t be where I am now. Is that good or bad?
It’s all in the spin!
Getting back to the basics: One of the qualities of writing a good email is to use the person’s name. People love to hear their name. So I’m practicing at work. I’ve already got the email things down; I’m not so good with addressing people face to face. I’ve added names to my morning greetings. Huge step, right?! It is for me.
The harder challenge is for me to reach out to someone five days of the week. There are some people that don’t want to hear from me so I have to be comfortable with rejection. So, between volunteer work through the PTO, networking events which I have to find this week and will end up being sales calls, following through with an old friend, (that’s three I need two more.) Does a date count? (Yes so that’s four.) Church on Sunday for five.
Bam. I’ve set myself up well.
And the biggest challenge for me, and this is personal, is contacting my family. Specifically my father. It’s not going to happen this week but I’m considering driving to see him next week for the Veteran’s Day holiday. It’s a three hour drive and I have to do it in one day. But that’s not what’s holding me back. He’s not a very nice person. Not now, not ever. My children are afraid of him and refer to him as Grumpy. He’s very depressed and his health is failing. It’s simply time to visit. I have to be in a pretty secure place to get through it. He brings up horrible memories and it’s too much time in the car to process. But I’m finding that he’s come up on every new date I’ve had and I really just want to let him be. I thought I had forgiven him but my story isn’t acceptable yet. I suppose it’s still about me which puts me in the child stage. I desperately want to move on. I’m not sure how to address it yet but I’ll figure it out. I read in one of my dating books to make amends with your parents and exes before you get out there and I thought I had but I was wrong and now I can see why it’s important.
That’s a big connect!